


O Death

by noellisetrevelyan



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: After Adamant, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:18:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3667284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noellisetrevelyan/pseuds/noellisetrevelyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the assault on Adamant, Inquisitor Noellise Trevelyan has suffered severe injuries from the fight. She is consumed with nightmares of losing all of her friends in the battle and fever as a result of her injuries. Cullen comes to give her some comfort, and is also trying to come to terms with the fact that she may very well give herself as a final sacrifice to defeat Corypheus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	O Death

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've written in a LONG time, but I'm compelled to write stories about my Inquisitor. I certainly am eager to write more and will accept suggestions

It hurt. Her whole body hurt. It was on fire. The focus of the pain was in the deep lacerations in her side, where her damaged armor left her vulnerable. Cullen was always telling her she should use her shield with more tact, but the rage that consumed her had Noellise throwing herself into an all out offensive; the Wardens had fallen prey to their own cause. Yes, they only wished for the good of the people in preventing another blight, but it had left them wide open to Corypheus' corruption, and for that she had them exiled. There was some support, there was some immense disapproval, but she did what she had to. While Corypheus was alive and spreading his influence, it was too much of a risk. That's what she had to tell herself. Tell herself so that the guilt and hurt wouldn't consume her. Perhaps she could open lines of communication with the Wardens after she has defeated the false god, but there was too much potential for trouble as things stood

"You want to stop the hurting. You want for good, but you're...so afraid..."

Cole sat at Noellise's bedside, keeping a vigilant watch over his dear friend. Despite the nightmares she faced in the Fade, she still worried for her companions and her forces outside of the Fade over herself. Always worrying. Always caring. She shuddered in her sleep, whimpering as the nightmares consuming her ill mind. Cole placed a gentle hand on her head, before reaching into a bucket for a cold rag to place upon it.

"No...please I...I can't..."

Noellise's brow furrowed in terror, and it hurt Cole to see her suffer. But he couldn't take away her nightmares. He wished he could. He would take away all of her hurt. Take it all away from her. That immense weight on her shoulders. Thedas depended on her and the Inquisition, and with every decision she made it took that much more out of her. He was here to help, but he found it most difficult to help the one person that meant the most to him in the Inquisition.

Commander Cullen pushed back the tent flap, spotting Cole, who looked up to him with such concern.

"She hurts. White hot flame, smothered in darkness. Crying out. Grasping. Not seeing. Where...where are they? ...dead...all dead."

Cullen walked over quickly, dread welling in his chest. She looked horrible. Her injuries were severe, but not fatal if she could only fight the fever. The lyrium withdrawal she was suffering wasn't making matters easier for her. The healers and Solas have done what they can, but Noellise had to remain strong so that she can recover.

"I'll watch over her, you go...er..."

"Yes..."

Cole rose slowly to his feet, giving the Inquisitor one last glance before departing from the tent. Cullen wasted no time, taking Cole's place beside his beloved. It hurt him too. He had almost lost her. Watching the outcropping of Adamant collapse, watching her fall...he had almost lost her. Again. She was always in the center of the fray. She was always putting herself in danger. And she would always do it for the sake of her people, her friends, and the Inquisition...it was in her nature. She would do it again. And again. The defender of the people, a true Templar. He was proud, and yet so very afraid for her safety and her life.

"Why..."

Cullen's fingers found her cheek, stroking it gentle. Noellise flinched, gasping out in her sleep.

"No...please...oh Maker why...I couldn't...save them..."

"But you DID!"

She did as she always does. Noellise stopped the demon of fear, crossed into and back out of the Fade, and led her Inquisition to a victory, no matter how grim the outcome was. One step closer to stopping Corypheus. He didn't want to think about it. He knew how she fought. He knew how she led. She would put all of her strength into fighting Corypheus, which may very well mean the end of her life. He had told her he hadn't imagined a future, hadn't imagined moving forward after this war. But with the hope she gave people, himself included, there may very well be an end to the madness and many days ahead in life. He couldn't, however, imagine that future without her.

They knew it was wrong. He was the commander of the Inquisition's forces, and she was the Inquisitor. That was fraternization of just about the highest level, but they had been unable to hide their feelings from one another. Noellise made him feel alive in a way he hadn't in many years, and helped him overcome the withdrawals of lyrium. She was his world and he would do anything to give her the future she deserved. But what if...

"You do so much...too much."

"Cullen..." 

Noellise gripped the bedroll sheets, her back arching against the frightful things in her head. Cullen reached for her hand, gripping it tightly in hopes of reassuring her.

"No, no, no, please...come back...don't...you can't..."

"I'm here. Noellise..."

He leaned in close to her, placing his forehead against hers. Her head was hot, sweat pouring over her bar skine, naked beneath the blanket in attempts to cool her down. She suddenly thrashed, bucking against the bedroll a horrified scream ripping from her throat.

"NOELLISE!"

Noellise suddenly lurched up, awakening, eyes wide and frantic.  
"  
HUSH! Hush...Noellise..."

Noellise's eyes found Cullen's face. Was he here? Was this reality beyond the nightmare? It had seemed so real. Her friends, her love, bodies surrounding her feet in the Fade.

"Cullen..." 

Her calloused fingers found his face, feeling the gentle scratch of the stubble there. Then the blazing pain returned. She gasped out and fell against his strong body, arms already prepared to catch her. Oh god the pain.

"Noellise, I've got you..hush now."

Cullen's thumb traced soothing circles across her back, body trembling as she was overcome with sobbing.

"Oh Maker Cullen...I...dead...everyone was..."

"Everyone's fine."

"No, they're not. Hawke...our fallen soldiers...a-all of those we lost."

Noellise always took loss hard. She created a graveyard in Skyhold with a member of each army, each region they have lost, in honor of the dead. She walked that graveyard every evening, holding so much guilt in her heart. But she always carried on, because for each of those they lost, they saved so many more. It didn't stop her from wishing she could save them all.

"Hey...look at me."

Cullen turned her head to face him, her eyes sliding up to meet his.

"In war, there is loss. We will do WHATEVER it takes to stop Corypheus and end his taint of this world. And sometimes that means great people have to sacrifice themselves. Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same for us all."

Noellise diverted her eyes, letting a defeated sigh escape her lips.

"Sacrifice may be the only way...to end all of this."

"No."

It came out too quick, too desperate. Noellise looked back up to Cullen, a terrified expression coming to his face, an expression she seldom found there. He gripped her tightly, as if letting her go would make the woman he loved disappear.

"A-ah, Cullen, too tight..."

"I'm...I'm sorry. I just...I can't..."

Cullen took Noellise's chin into his hand, a sadness and tears coming to his eyes.

"With the hope you've given me, I see a future...but that future would darken without you there. Noellise, promise me something...when you face that monster...try to come back to me. Please, try..."

Noellise's heart softened, and she leaned up to press her lips gently against his. Cullen leaned deeply into the kiss, holding her body close to his. He wished he could melt into these moments, hold on to them forever so that she didn't have to experience so much burden, fear, and greif that makes her shoulders hunch on the hardest of days. But it's these moments that help Noellise carry on. Without Cullen, and without her friends, she wouldn't be able to hold strong, to do what must be done for Thedas. Death had a tight hold upon her, and its cold hands would one day claim her life. But that day was not today. She had escaped death, to come back into Cullen's arms, and to fight the darkness descending upon all living kind.

And with her faith in the Maker and the strength of her courage, she could, and would overcome her trials. She was the last great hope of Thedas, and she was determined to succeed and see this through, so that the people may finally be able to rest easy that they will see another day.


End file.
